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Not Worrying About Others

December 19, 2007

Anecdotally, I have no problem seeing another person’s perspective, or even trying to view the world through that person’s eyes (which we call Verstehen in sociology). I do, however, sometimes have difficulty “feeling” that perspective, which would, I suppose, be a kind of empathy.

My sister, who has been diagnosed with ADHD-I (ADHD minus the hyperactivitiy, i.e., ADD) and who also claims to be codependent (not sure on what ;-)), is a control freak. She is constantly worrying about our 88-year-old father (who is in an assisted living community). She wants to “fix” everything, but, as she admits, she usually ends up making things worse. (That is when she phones me to straighten things out with everyone).

Although I care for our father, I almost never worry about him; and I literally cannot understand why my sister does worry. (In any case, she overdoes it.) Likewise, when our mother was dying, I did not grieve at all, while my sister was just about on her deathbed herself.

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