Offense
These issues are very complex. For instance, even though I am classed as “white,” I become highly offended when the “N” word is used (even by Blacks). Do I not have a right to be offended because the person using the term is a Black person?
Offense is an emotional reaction, not an intellectual conclusion. If someone is offended by the terms “autie” or “aspie,” the best thing to do, IMO, is to explain to the person the context – not to question the person’s right to be offended.