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My Meltdown

November 7, 2009

I am presently coming out of a meltdown. During these periods, which have at times lasted a few years, I discontinue most activities which are not directly related to my academic position. The meltdowns seem to occur when I am over-extended. In any event, this situation explains why I have not posted in about three months. Just, because I likely appear fairly neurotypical to the majority of people does not mean I do not have my share of difficulties. As I have gotten older, I have merely become more proficient at positioning my mask.

On the other hand, as a child, the meltdowns were usually unbearable. I was almost constantly surrounded by people. Try as I might to escape in a corner from perceptual overload, someone always came by to say something or another. As an adult, however, I have lived alone. Except for my job, I can choose to shut out the world at will. No one, based on their misunderstandings of my needs, attempts to supposedly “rescue” me. Perhaps that explains why, despite the awful prognosis delivered by my child psychiatrist, that I would spend my life on disability, I have shown him to be wrong.

8 Comments leave one →
  1. Kent Adams permalink
    November 7, 2009 5:37 pm

    Glad to have you back for now. I go through periods I call inertia, which is really depression that can last long periods where I want to shut the world out. I escape to music and video, as these are the only forms that allow me to express myself. Where words fail me, music and video is my only means of expressing myself.

    I hope that you have some clarity that has revealed itself during your meltdown.

    • November 7, 2009 7:00 pm

      Thank you very much. I suppose it might be depression. However, I do not feel depressed. 😉 I wrap myself up in the things which give me pleasure (mostly developing websites) and feel quite good.

    • December 11, 2009 9:01 pm

      Thank you. There has been a bit of clarity – on my limitations.

      Mostly, I just avoid talking on the phone (which is something I usually enjoy).

  2. November 7, 2009 7:42 pm

    It was interesting to read the post about your meltdown, and interesting to see that sometimes they have lasted for years.

    The way you cope is a good one.

    Being surrounded by people isn’t all that good, especially during a meltdown.

  3. November 27, 2009 6:37 am

    Various of folks write about this subject but you said really true words.

  4. December 21, 2010 3:23 pm

    Yes. I am happy to live alone during these periods.

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